Parents should only let their children know that they’re getting divorced until after they have already filed, found a new home for the parent who is moving out, have furnished it and have a concrete move-in date. They need a completed and specific plan to avoid anxiety. If you have more than one child, tell your children together and then discuss age-specific issues with children one-on-one and as needed.

After sharing your news with your child, pay attention to what your child says- or doesn’t say- and say their behavior, says Frank J. Sileo, Ph.D., Ridgewood psychologist. Behaviors exhibited by your child that might need professional help/therapy:

Professional help can help alleviate pain, process feelings and thoughts, open up communication, and help prevent future problems.

It’s smart to inform educators at your child’s school about your divorce/separation.

It’s typical for kids to look for reasons why their parents are getting divorced. However,

As a parent, it’s vital to keep the communication door open. Dr. Sileo said, “kids are naturally egocentric and think that their thoughts or behavior cause events.”

Children also have the tendency to become angry and look for someone to blame. Normalize their feelings and don’t take it personally.

Kids can sometimes tell if your marriage is heading towards a divorce.

If you’re getting divorced mainly because of an extramarital affair, Dr. Mann suggests leaving that detail out when it comes to the kids- at first. Here’s why: “Telling children about an affair only creates more angst for them…. Children don’t realize issues are complex. In addition, it sets them up to late either have affairs or else choose someone who will cheat on them.”

If you’re still not sure how to break the news to your child, consult with a relationship therapist.

If you’re going through a divorce with children involved, consult David Veliz at Veliz Katz Law to help make the journey as smooth as possible. Read the full  article  now by Rachel Sokol at Reader’s Digest.